Picture this: You’re standing in a hospital room, staring at a laptop screen that won’t stop wobbling before your eyes. You haven’t been able to sit down or lie down for weeks—not for a single moment—because every time you try, your body erupts in seizures. Your mind is foggy from pain and exhaustion, yet you’re desperately trying to work because you run your own accounting firm, and clients are depending on you.
This isn’t fiction. This was Nancy McClelland’s reality for 107 consecutive days in 2017.
This stark image opens a raw conversation from the She Counts podcast episode “How to Make Business Happen When Life Happens,” in which hosts Nancy McClelland and Questian Telka strip away the professional veneer to reveal what really happens when personal crises collide with accounting deadlines. Their stories shed light on circumstances many women in our profession face but rarely discuss openly.
Nancy’s medical crisis began in July 2017 when her lifelong spinal condition suddenly worsened. “I ended up having seizures on my left leg every time I would sit down or lie down. It was absolutely horrible. I wanted to die,” she recalls. Standing became her only option for work, eating, and even during sleepless nights for over three months.
Telka’s story is equally harrowing. Her son, who has a rare chromosomal abnormality, was hospitalized for a month last year and nearly died from complications unrelated to his syndrome. “It just nearly broke me,” she admits.
Why We Suffer in Silence
The numbers tell a sobering story about how women in accounting handle personal crises. According to Accounting Today’s 2022 survey, 41% of female CPAs who experienced personal loss delayed taking time off because they didn’t want to appear weak. Even more telling? A staggering 76% later regretted not stepping back sooner.
This reluctance to seek help stems from several deeply ingrained patterns in our profession. First is what Telka calls the “suck it up” mentality. “I always had the mindset—I’m actually kind of ashamed to admit it—but I always had the mindset that we have to suck it up,” she reflects. “When something’s hard, you have to push through and keep going.”
But this approach has its limits. When her son was fighting for his life, Telka reached a breaking point: “I was like, you know what? There is no more suck it up. I cannot suck it up.”
The perfectionism that drives professional success can be particularly toxic during personal crises. Research from the International Journal of Accounting and Finance found that 68% of female accountants feel they’re expected never to make mistakes. This creates what experts call “socially prescribed perfectionism,” a known predictor of burnout.
As McClelland points out, “We have that expectation of ourselves without having it of others.”
Adding to the isolation is the fact that many struggles remain imperceptible. McClelland looked completely normal to observers—she was standing, after all. “You never know what someone is going through,” she realized. “My horrible situation was actually invisible to many people.”
McClelland’s therapist offered a reframe that changed everything about how she approaches difficult times: “Doing your best doesn’t mean the platonic ideal of your best. It means the best you can do under the circumstances.” Now she communicates this directly: “I let people know that I really am doing the best I can. I’m simply not in a situation to do more, but when I am, they’ll get that version of my best.”
The Power of Community Support
The most resilient accounting professionals understand that the path through personal crises isn’t paved with increased isolation but with strategic vulnerability and authentic community connections.
Communication becomes your lifeline, but it requires balance. “Communicate clearly. Communicate honestly,” McClelland emphasizes. You don’t need to share every detail, but transparency about facing challenges builds trust rather than eroding it. “Transparency sets realistic expectations for your availability or temporary performance shifts,” she explains. “And it lets them know this isn’t forever.”
McClelland offers a helpful script she learned from burnout expert Lynnette Oss Connell, for those tentative to divulge details: “That’s all I’m comfortable sharing at the moment. But if you’re open to it, I may want to share more later.” This approach shows trust while gently establishing boundaries.
The fear that sharing struggles will damage professional relationships often proves unfounded. As Oss Connell told McClelland, “We underestimate how much our work family cares about us.” When Telka’s son was hospitalized, she witnessed this firsthand: “So many people came forward and sent gift cards to us.”
McClelland experienced this support through a local colleague who took over her tax clients during her medical crisis. Even more touching was Mindy Luebke from Bookkeeping Buds, who immediately offered to take any work off McClelland’s plate with no questions asked. “She was just like: ‘What do you need right now? Give it to me. I will do it. I will figure it out. We’ll deal with the specifics later,’” McClelland remembers. “It still sticks in my mind as the number-one kindest moment in my entire life.”
The most effective support comes from taking initiative rather than asking “What can I do?” As Telka explains, “When you’re going through something like that, it is so difficult to tell people what you need, and everyone’s asking.” Instead, think about what you would need and simply do it—send DoorDash gift cards, take over upcoming deliverables, or handle routine tasks.
McClelland beautifully illustrates this through a Jewish tradition of praying when hearing ambulance sirens. “If you were that person inside the ambulance and you knew that everyone within the sound of your siren, even strangers, were wishing you well, how much strength would that give you to hold on until you got to the hospital?”
Practical Crisis Management Strategies
When trauma strikes and decision-making becomes nearly impossible, having systems in place can mean the difference between business survival and collapse. The key is building these systems before you need them.
Start with triage thinking, borrowing from emergency medicine to categorize every task. First, identify your “stop the bleeding” priorities: payroll, critical tax deadlines, and regulatory filings. These need to happen regardless of personal circumstances.
Next, distinguish between what truly matters and what feels urgent. “I keep saying, ‘Oh, I’ve got to put together my speaker kit,’” McClelland reflects. “No, I don’t have to. I don’t have to do that today. It can wait.”
The choice becomes simple for everything else: delegate it or drop it. Nancy’s crisis forced her to give away clients who weren’t ideal fits anyway, including ministerial tax work she’d taken on early in her career but wasn’t passionate about. What felt like a loss became strategic clarity.
The challenge is what McClelland calls the “will problem.” A will is a document that, the moment you need it… is exactly when it’s too late to make it. That’s why building systems during normal times is crucial. Lean hard on standard operating procedures, task management tools, saved email templates, and automated processes like invoice reminders.
Decision fatigue compounds every crisis. When you’re already making countless decisions about medical care or family logistics, having to decide how to respond to each client email becomes overwhelming. But with systems in place, you can operate on autopilot when needed.
McClelland learned this lesson the hard way in 2017, but was better prepared when facing another family medical emergency earlier this year. Having her husband added as a bank signatory, documenting processes her team could follow, and automated client communications meant she could focus on family without watching her business crumble.
Resources and Next Steps
For those wanting to explore crisis preparation more deeply, McClelland and Telka recommend Dawn Brolin’s new book,”The Elevation of Empathy. ” This book explores how empathy and compassion—often seen as weaknesses in male-dominated business environments—actually create healthier company cultures and stronger leadership. Oss Connell also shares resources for crisis prevention and recovery on Instagram. And Jennifer Dymond and Karen McConomy have developed a “Business Backup Plan Bootcamp” that walks attendees step-by-step through the creation of an actionable contingency plan.
The hosts want to continue this conversation with real stories from listeners. They’re asking women in accounting to share on the She Counts LinkedIn page about times when they had to keep working through rough personal periods. What helped most? What do you wish someone had said or done during that time?
Your Permission to Be Human
Perhaps the most important message from Nancy and Questian’s conversation is this: you have permission to break, to ask for help, and to admit when circumstances exceed your capacity. As McClelland puts it, “The good and the bad coexist. They do not cancel each other out.” You can appreciate moments of joy and success even more deeply because you understand the contrast.
True professional strength is about building authentic relationships, implementing smart systems, and having the courage to be your real, imperfect, resilient human self.
The future of accounting isn’t about creating invulnerable professionals. It’s about building communities where no one has to face their worst moments alone.
Listen to the complete She Counts episode to hear every detail of McClelland and Telka’s journeys, including specific communication scripts and concrete strategies for building support networks before you need them.