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Scaling New Heights

From Guilt to Grace: How Setting Boundaries Actually Improves Client Service

Earmark Team · September 5, 2025 ·

You decide to sleep in for once, rolling over in bed to ignore the world and give yourself a much-needed break. Then your phone buzzes with an email notification that makes your blood boil instantly: a one-star Google review from a client who’s furious that you won’t drop everything to take his phone calls.

This exact scenario happened to Nayo Carter-Gray, an Enrolled Agent (EA) who runs her own accounting firm, just a couple of weeks before she joined Nancy McClelland and Questian Telka for a live episode of She Counts recorded at the Scaling New Heights conference. The client in question was part of a client list acquisition, bypassed Carter-Gray’s communication policies from Day One, and demanded immediate callbacks despite her firm’s clear appointment-only structure.

Here’s the kicker: After Carter-Gray crafted a nearly 5,000-word response (thankfully never sent), the client discovered the real problem was a tech issue on his end that had been blocking emails for a week. “He took his review down because he discovered the thing that he was upset about was not even our fault. It was his,” Carter-Gray explains.

The client took down his nasty review, but the damage to the relationship was done. More importantly, Carter-Gray realized this was a blessing in disguise, a clear sign this client wasn’t a good fit for her practice.

This story perfectly captures the tension that accounting professionals face every day: the clash between setting professional boundaries and managing client expectations in a culture that demands instant gratification. During their conversation about boundaries, McClelland, Telka, and Carter-Gray tackled one of the most challenging aspects of running a sustainable practice: protecting your time and energy without sacrificing service quality or damaging client relationships.

Professional boundaries aren’t about saying ‘no’ to clients; they’re about saying ‘yes’ to better service.

From Barriers to Bridges: Reframing the Boundary Mindset

Transforming boundary-setting from a guilt-inducing struggle into a service enhancement tool starts with a simple reframe. As Carter-Gray puts it, “Boundaries aren’t barriers, but bridges to better client relationships.”

This philosophy runs counter to everything most accounting professionals have been conditioned to believe. We’ve been taught good service means being available whenever clients need us; saying ‘no’ makes us difficult; and professional success requires wearing every hat in our practice. But Carter-Gray’s experience tells a different story.

When she initially set up her firm, she was doing exactly what most of us do: trying to handle everything herself. “I was doing all the things, trying to set the appointments, trying to have all the client calls,” she recalls. “I realized I was spending so much time on things clients can do themselves, like schedule an appointment.”

The breakthrough came when she asked why clients had to talk to her to schedule a call with her. “When I call the doctor’s office, the doctor isn’t the one on the phone scheduling a call. It’s usually the front desk admin or a nurse practitioner or somebody lower on the rung,” she explains.

This realization led to restructuring how her firm operates. She implemented scheduling links, started using an answering service, and created clear communication protocols that actually freed her up to focus on the work that truly requires her expertise.

“When I’m talking to you, I wanna just be able to talk to you and not have any distraction,” Carter-Gray explains. This captures the essence of the boundary-as-bridge concept. By protecting her time and attention through clear systems, she creates space to be fully present with clients when they do connect. The boundaries enhance the service rather than diminishing it.

Building Systems That Support Your Boundaries

The magic of effective boundary-setting isn’t the boundaries themselves, but the systems that make those boundaries feel natural and professional rather than defensive or apologetic. Carter-Gray’s approach demonstrates how multiple touchpoints and clear processes can eliminate the need to justify your professional structure.

“I try to do a really good job of explaining it the first time,” Carter-Gray explains, outlining her multi-layered client education process. “In our potential client call, I’ll walk you through the process. It’s at the bottom of our follow-up email, and we reiterate it in our welcome guide.”

This welcome guide serves as a proactive boundary-setting tool. Rather than waiting for conflicts to arise and then having to explain policies defensively, the guide educates clients before issues develop. “It is in the engagement letter as well,” Carter-Gray adds, acknowledging that “people don’t read,” which is why repetition across multiple formats is essential.

Her automation strategies go beyond simple scheduling tools. “You fill out the potential client form. I get an email that tells me all about you, and then we accept it or decline it based on your responses,” she explains. Once accepted, automated emails go out immediately to capitalize on the client’s momentum while setting clear expectations about what comes next.

One practical example of systematic boundary-setting is her approach to business hours. “We’re virtual. That doesn’t mean we’re 24/7. We have business hours. We work Monday through Friday, 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM Eastern Standard Time,” she states firmly. But she goes a step further, scheduling emails to send during business hours even when she writes them on weekends.

“I stopped sending emails on weekends because sending an email on a Saturday at seven gives the impression that you’re working,” she explains. “So even though I might be working on Saturday, I schedule the email for Monday morning at 10:00 AM Eastern (or 10:05, so it won’t feel like I’ve scheduled the email).”

Her team structure reinforces these boundaries through shared systems rather than individual heroics. “We use a shared email inbox,” she explains, “so every meeting, every email is seen by the entire team that’s responsible. At any given point, if one of us is out, somebody else can jump in.”

This prevents the single-person bottleneck that destroys boundaries when clients believe only one person can help them. 

Perhaps most importantly, Carter-Gray aligns her systems with her personal energy patterns. “Sales calls are on Monday because I am pumped up for the week,” she shares, demonstrating how boundaries can actually optimize performance when they’re designed around how you naturally work best.

Here’s her professional out-of-office template:

“Dear Client, from [start date] to [end date], I’ll be taking some much-needed time off. For urgent matters, please contact [colleagues]. I value our partnership and assure you that all tasks will be handled with the same dedication and efficiency.”

No lengthy explanations. No apologies. Just clear, professional communication about availability.

Overcoming Guilt and the People-Pleasing Trap

The most sophisticated boundary systems in the world will crumble without addressing the psychological patterns that make saying “no” feel impossible in the first place. For many accounting professionals, the real battle is with the internal voice that whispers… we’re being difficult, selfish, or unprofessional when we protect our time and energy.

“If you feel guilty about all of the things, then you will never feel good about all of the things,” Carter-Gray points out. This guilt cycle creates a destructive pattern where professionals overcommit to avoid disappointing others, then build resentment toward the very clients they’re trying to serve.

“Sometimes you have to take your guilt and say, ‘Why am I feeling guilty about this? Is it because I’m not able to do this? Or is it because I don’t want to do this?’” Carter-Gray challenges. “When you realize it’s something you don’t want to do, the answer’s no.”

The power of “no is a complete sentence” prevents the resentment that destroys service quality. “I don’t wanna resent you, I wanna be able to enjoy whatever relationship that we have,” Carter-Gray explains. “Every time I see you, I don’t wanna be like, oh, let me avoid this girl.”

The oxygen mask principle flight attendants teach is a perfect parallel for professional service: “You gotta take care of your mask first before you help others,” Carter-Gray reminds us. This isn’t selfishness; it’s sustainability.

Even the language patterns that reinforce guilt need conscious attention. Telka recognizes herself as an over-apologizer, a common pattern among women in professional settings. Carter-Gray offers a simple but powerful reframe: “Instead of being sorry for something, thank the other person for their patience. So instead of, ‘oh, I’m sorry I’m late,’ say ‘thank you for your patience. You waited for me.’ Really I should be saying… let’s honor, let’s celebrate that.”

The deeper principle at work here challenges the entire culture of instant availability that pervades professional services. “Don’t apologize for taking personal time. We are humans. We are not robots. We are not made to work 24/7,” Carter-Gray states firmly. “If you worked for someone else and your hours were nine to five and they asked you to come in at seven, you would be pissed. So you work for yourself, but you don’t set up these same rules for yourself?”

Carter-Gray’s favorite saying captures this mindset: “Not your monkey, not your circus.” In other words, you don’t have to jump into every chaotic situation just because you have the skills to help.

Small Steps to Start Today

For conflict-averse accounting professionals who want to start practicing boundary setting, Carter-Gray suggests beginning with low-stakes changes:

  • Email auto-responders. “You can set your emails now to have a responder that says ‘Thank you so much for your email. We will get back to you within 48 business hours.’ It takes a little pressure off of you to respond immediately.”
  • Virtual assistants or chatbots. These can help take over some of the communication functionality that currently pulls you away from client work.
  • Clear communication about availability. Be proactive about telling clients when you’ll be unavailable, giving them time to prepare mentally.
  • Provide alternatives. When you can’t help directly, offer other solutions. As McClelland points out, this might mean saying, “I’m not available to help with that. However, I have an amazing team that I’ve invested a lot of my time and energy into training. And they will take really great care of you.”

The key is being proactive rather than reactive.

Your Path to Sustainable Service Excellence

Professional boundaries aren’t about becoming the difficult accountant who never helps anyone; they’re about becoming the professional who helps the right clients exceptionally well. The most sustainable practitioners don’t say “yes” to everything. They create frameworks that protect their ability to serve authentically.

This approach offers a roadmap for any accounting professional ready to move beyond the exhausting cycle of over-commitment and resentment and gives them permission to prioritize sustainability without guilt. 

Take the first step by choosing one small boundary to implement this week. Maybe it’s an email auto-responder that sets response time expectations. Perhaps it’s scheduling your weekend emails to send during business hours. Or it could be as simple as switching your language from “I’m sorry I’m late” to “Thank you for your patience.”

Listen to the full episode of the The Counts podcast featuring Nayo Carter–Gray for more advice on setting boundaries to become sustainable, focused, and authentically present. 


You can follow Nayo Carter-Gray on social media @NayoCarterGray and learn more about her work at upcoming conferences, including Bridging the Gap, NAEA’s Tax Summit, and Intuit Connect. She also serves on the board of the Accounting Cornerstone Foundation, which provides scholarships for first-time conference attendees in the accounting profession.

From Tax Updates to Yoga: The Surprising Evolution of Accounting Conferences

Earmark Team · July 8, 2024 ·

Imagine walking into an accounting conference and finding a yoga session next to a tax update seminar. Sound far-fetched? Welcome to the new world of accounting professional development.

In a recent Unofficial QuickBooks Accountants Podcast episode, hosts Hector Garcia and Alicia Katz Pollock discussed the transformative changes sweeping through accounting conferences. From the evolution of QuickBooks Connect to Intuit Connect to the emergence of niche events like Appy Camp, these industry gatherings are undergoing a radical makeover.

At the heart of this transformation is a simple yet powerful idea: modern accounting conferences are moving beyond technical skills to address the whole professional. They’re integrating topics like wellness and communication, reflecting a growing recognition of the multifaceted challenges faced by today’s accounting professionals.

The Rise of Specialized Conferences

Gone are the days of one-size-fits-all accounting conferences. Today’s professional gatherings are becoming increasingly specialized, catering to specific niches within the accounting world.

Take Scaling New Heights, for instance. This conference has become a cornerstone event for many QuickBooks-focused accounting professionals. As Alicia explains, “Scaling New Heights is one of the best conferences for really good tangible education in the sessions. And also the community is just huge and vibrant.” The conference offers deep dives into QuickBooks functionalities, advanced reporting techniques, and strategies for growing your accounting practice.

Specialization doesn’t stop there. Appy Hour Camp takes niche focusing to another level. This invite-only conference is specifically designed for educators in the accounting space. Alicia describes it as a place “trying to find up and coming trainers who need to kind of grow into their voice and stand in their confidence about what it is that they have to contribute to the world.” The conference fosters collaboration among trainers and even explores cutting-edge topics like the integration of AI in accounting education.

This trend towards specialization mirrors the broader changes in the accounting industry. As roles become more diverse and technology more complex, there’s a growing need for targeted, in-depth knowledge. These niche conferences are stepping up to meet that need, providing spaces for deep learning and community building.

Integrating Wellness and Personal Development

As accounting conferences evolve, they increasingly recognize that professional success requires more than technical expertise. Enter conferences like Bridging the Gap, which is pioneering the integration of wellness and personal development topics into the traditional conference format.

The origin of Bridging the Gap speaks volumes about its mission. As Hector explains, “Randy himself ten years ago had a stroke. And he blames the stroke on overwork, on stress, on all the things that plague our profession – bookkeeper, CPA, tax attorney or otherwise.” This experience led to a conference that blends technical accounting concepts with wellness topics, featuring unique offerings like yoga sessions, meditation workshops, and even massage rooms alongside traditional technical sessions.

This shift reflects a growing awareness of the accounting profession’s stress and mental health challenges. For QuickBooks professionals, managing multiple clients, keeping up with software updates, and ensuring accurate financial reporting can be overwhelming. By addressing these issues head-on, conferences like Bridging the Gap acknowledge that a healthy, balanced professional is ultimately more effective.

Adapting to Changing Technology and Industry Trends

As the accounting industry evolves, so too do its conferences. Perhaps no example illustrates this better than the transformation of QuickBooks Connect into Intuit Connect.

When QuickBooks Connect launched in 2014, it had a broad focus. As Hector recalls, “QuickBooks Connect was about the word connect, which was a play on words for multiple things. It was connecting small business with accountants… Connecting developers with accountants.” The conference served as a melting pot for stakeholders in the QuickBooks ecosystem, with sessions ranging from basic bookkeeping to advanced app integrations.

However, the conference has shifted to a more accounting-centric approach over time. In recent years, we have seen an increase in advanced technical sessions, discussions on advisory services, and workshops on leveraging QuickBooks data for business insights. This change reflects the growing complexity of the accounting profession and the evolving needs of QuickBooks professionals taking on more advisory roles.

The rebranding to Intuit Connect signals even broader changes. As Alicia speculates, this could indicate a move towards integrating Intuit’s other products, like Credit Karma and TurboTax, into the conference content. This shift mirrors the trend in the wider industry towards more integrated, comprehensive financial services.

Other conferences are also adapting to technological changes. For instance, Appy Camp is incorporating sessions on AI in accounting education, reflecting the growing importance of this technology in the field.

These changes in conference focus and content provide a window into the future of the accounting profession. They suggest a move towards more integrated services, increased specialization, and a growing emphasis on emerging technologies. For QuickBooks professionals, this means opportunities to expand your service offerings, deepen your technical expertise, and stay ahead of industry trends.

Your Next Step: Leveraging Modern Conferences for Professional Growth

The evolution of these conferences reflects the broader transformation of the accounting profession itself – from number crunchers to strategic advisors, from software users to technology integrators. By adapting to address the changing needs of accounting professionals, these conferences play a vital role in shaping the industry’s future.

From specialized gatherings like Scaling New Heights and Appy Camp to wellness-focused events like Bridging the Gap to the technology-driven evolution of Intuit Connect, these conferences are adapting to meet the multifaceted challenges faced by today’s accounting professionals.

The accounting profession is evolving rapidly, and staying connected with these trends through conference attendance can be a key factor in your professional success. These events offer invaluable opportunities to learn, network, and glimpse the future of our industry.

Ready to explore this transformation in more depth? Listen to the full episode of the Unofficial QuickBooks Accountants Podcast, and consider which of these innovative conferences might be your next game-changing professional development experience.


Alicia Katz Pollock’s Royalwise OWLS (On-Demand Web-based Learning Solutions) is the industry’s premier portal for top-notch QuickBooks Online training with CPE for accounting firms, bookkeepers, and small business owners. Visit Royalwise OWLS, where learning QBO is a HOOT!

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