Lindsay Patterson’s very first day as a reporter should have been routine. Twenty years ago, she walked into a small community meeting in Uvalde, Texas, fresh out of college, holding a notepad and recorder, ready to cover a state representative’s remarks for the local paper. She sat down, pen ready. Then the representative stood up, scanned the room, and asked whether anyone from the Uvalde Leader-News was present. When Lindsay raised her hand, he announced he wouldn’t speak as long as she was in the room.
She didn’t stand her ground or fight back. She walked out, sat in her car, and cried.
Today, Lindsay is the CEO of CPA QualityPro, a compliance platform that helps firms navigate licensure and CPE requirements. She’s served as executive vice president at the Institute of Internal Auditors and spent years at the AICPA working on accounting standards and the CPA exam. She holds multiple certifications, including CPA, CIA, and CAE, all earned while working full time and raising kids.
In Episode 30 of She Counts, the real-talk podcast for women in accounting, Lindsay joined hosts Questian Telka and Nancy McClelland to unpack a frustrating phrase in professional development: executive presence. It’s the vague feedback that shows up in performance reviews as the reason you didn’t get promoted, without anyone explaining what it means or how to get it.
Women are often told that executive presence means adopting traits traditionally associated with male leaders. Lindsay argues that the real measure is much simpler: whether the people around you leave interactions believing you’re the right person for the job.
Redefining Executive Presence
Many of us absorbed a version of executive presence without questioning it. “I had a very traditional view of executive presence. It’s like the three-piece suit guy pulling out a pocket watch,” Lindsay said, admitting where she started. “He’s speaking aggressively and assertively. I’m like, oh, that guy has executive presence.”
Nancy shared her own assumptions. For women, she thought it meant Chanel bags, specific jewelry, and perfect polish. “I will tell you, if we’re going to judge me on my ability to make that happen, I will fail,” she said. “I look like I’m dressed up for a high school play or something.”
But Lindsay’s working definition is simpler. “If you were to distill it into simple terms, it’s just instilling confidence in people. Are people confident I can do a good job? Can I lead the team? Can I deliver results or do what I say I am going to do?”
The research backs this up. Lindsay cited the Coqual findings that gravitas, or how you present yourself, is what people overwhelmingly evaluate for executive presence. Communication makes up about a third. Appearance is only 5%.
This is good news for anyone worried their personal style disqualifies them from leadership. Lindsay owns a fully sequined black suit and has worn floor-length tutu gowns to office meetings. She’s also been a CPA Practice Advisor 40 Under 40 honoree and runs a successful company. The two things work together just fine.
But Lindsay was clear that executive presence is not “overtalking people, interrupting, being really aggressive and mean.” She added an important caveat. “I say that’s not what it should look like. But we have to recognize it is viewed that way in some office cultures.”
She shared a story that made Nancy ask if it was real. At one company, a man criticized another executive for wearing a Rolex because it showed “new money.” If you wanted to instill confidence as a leader, apparently you needed at least a Patek Philippe. “What?” Lindsay said. She didn’t last long in that culture.
The story might be absurd, but it shows something important. In many places, executive presence gets defined by an unspoken code written by and for one specific kind of leader. When that code becomes the standard for measuring women, the game is rigged from the start.
The Double Bind: When the Rules Work Against You
Even with a better definition, women face a structural problem. The same behaviors that signal confidence in men get labeled as aggression in women.
“How often do you hear in performance reviews that a male was aggressive? Never. That gets assigned to women,” Lindsay stated plainly. Being direct, standing firm, and pushing back in meetings gets men praised for “standing up for their beliefs” while women get called “difficult” (or worse).
Then there’s what Questian called the competence-warmth trap, referencing Vanessa Van Edwards’ research. If you’re warm and approachable, people see you as less competent. You need both warmth and competence to hit the sweet spot, but too much warmth works against you.
The research on competence perception is even tougher. Lindsay delivered her “good news, bad news” moment. “If I show up and I am just as good as my male colleague, I’m probably going to be viewed as less competent. And there is a whole body of research to show this.”
Women don’t just need to meet the bar. They need to clearly exceed it, just to be seen as equal. That means overpreparing is essential.
The dynamics shift with race, too. Lindsay acknowledged their position, noting, “We’re all three white women.” She’s seen firsthand what she can get away with that a Black female colleague cannot. Nancy put numbers to it. If white women prepare at 120%, Black women face pressure to deliver at 170%.
Then came the episode’s most provocative moment. Questian asked if coaching women on executive presence puts the burden on them to fix a structural problem. Lindsay’s answer was direct. “Yes, we’re asking women to do this. You know why? Because nobody else is going to do it for us. People in power are not just going to hand us power. That’s not how power systems work.”
“The world’s not going to dominate itself,” Nancy said, summing it up.
But Lindsay distinguished between assimilation and strategy. The goal is to work strategically within existing systems by pushing boundaries, gaining influence, and reshaping culture from within. “As we rise to power, not only are we going to instill our own cultural norms, but then you’ll start to see cultures change.”
Your Practical Playbook: Build Presence Through Preparation
Lindsay’s closing advice was the episode’s most powerful line. “Confidence is just preparation. If you do something enough times, you will come across as confident. You will have that executive presence.”
Executive presence is a skill built through practice. Here’s Lindsay’s concrete playbook:
- Start with an audit. Record yourself before a difficult conversation or presentation. Watch the playback and ask, Does my body language say what I want? Do I sound knowledgeable? Am I the confident person I want this audience to see? You likely already have the material, since most meetings are now recorded on Zoom.
- Separate sound from sight. Listen to your recording with no video. Just evaluate your speaking. Then watch with no sound to evaluate body language. Then watch both together. This lets you see what each channel actually communicates.
- Rehearse with your circle. If you have trusted professional friends, use them. Practice difficult conversations. Do dress rehearsals for interviews. Ask for feedback on how you plan to challenge your boss. Lindsay does this with her own circle, and she extended an invitation to listeners. “If you don’t have that and you’re listening and you’re like, ‘I have this interview coming up,’ literally connect with me on LinkedIn. I’m happy to help. Other women did that for me.”
- Prepare for disruption. Anticipate what typically derails you. “Is Bob going to interrupt me like he always does? Well, how am I going to respond?” Plan your response. When the moment comes, hold your ground without escalating.
- Master the context. Your presence should shift based on your audience. As Nancy noted, the best version of you when meeting with nervous small-business owners differs from the one you use when meeting with a board chair. Both are authentic, but context defines what instills confidence.
For virtual meetings, have the camera on (especially when presenting), use good lighting, choose a quiet location, and avoid multitasking. Nancy made the trust connection clear. If she can’t see someone’s eyes on Zoom, she doesn’t trust them.
In person, make sure your shoulders are back and your head is up. Look confident and take up space. Lindsay admitted to intentional “manspreading” in meetings. “I have every right to be here, and I’m going to show that with my body.”
Don’t forget the practical details. Rehearse in the shoes you’ll actually wear. Nancy learned this after nearly injuring herself while presenting in heels. Now she presents in go-go boots that match her Dancing Accountant brand. Lindsay shared a cautionary tale about a team member who wore a tube top to an external Zoom meeting. Over a year later, the client still talked about the tube top instead of the meeting content.
The Scared Child Inside Us All
Lindsay shared what she wishes someone had told her 20 years ago. “Most people are faking it. We are just doing our best, trying to get by.”
Nancy connected this to waiting for the moment she’d become a confident adult. “When I realized that line doesn’t exist and a lot of us are carrying that scared child inside us until we die, then you’re like, oh, cool. Well, then I can start taking care of that scared kid because I’m also a confident adult.”
Lindsay offered one more insight from experience. “You could be the most round, juiciest peach on the tree. And there’s always going to be somebody who doesn’t like peaches.” You won’t be everyone’s cup of tea. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can focus on instilling confidence in the people who matter to your goals.
Your Presence Is What People Remember
Executive presence has been weaponized for too long as vague feedback that holds women to standards built for someone else. But Lindsay’s definition offers us something useful: instilling confidence in the people around you.
The double bind is real. The bar for perceived competence is measurably higher for women and higher still for women of color. These are structural realities, not personal failures. Recognizing them means understanding the terrain so you can navigate it.
The antidote is preparation. Record yourself. Rehearse with trusted peers. Anticipate the disruptors. Adapt to context. You build confidence through repetition.
No one will hand women the keys to power. The work of getting inside the system and reshaping it falls on us. As more women rise by carrying their own authentic executive presence, they can redefine what leadership looks like for those to come.
Questian closed with Maya Angelou’s words: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
That’s executive presence.
Listen to the full episode, and if you take one thing from this conversation, share it on the She Counts Podcast LinkedIn page. What will you try differently the next time you walk into a room or join a Zoom call?