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She Counts

Your Imposter Feelings Are Actually Proof You’re Growing, Not Failing

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Picture attending a White House event. You’re surrounded by accomplished professionals, and you find yourself gravitating toward the back of the room because you don’t feel you belong. Now imagine discovering the person next to you feels exactly the same way, and that person is Neil Armstrong.

This story, shared in the latest episode of She Counts, captures what nearly every woman in accounting knows but rarely discusses openly. When hosts Questian Telka and Nancy McClelland asked a room full of accounting professionals at the Bridging the Gap Conference who experiences imposter syndrome, virtually every hand went up. The same thing happened at Scaling New Heights.

“It ain’t a syndrome if everybody experiences it,” Nancy declared after witnessing the sea of raised hands. “How is it a syndrome? That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.”

It’s Not a Medical Condition—It’s Being Human

When 99% of accomplished professionals admit to these feelings, we’re not talking about something that needs fixing. We’re talking about being human.

Psychology Today reports that 70% of adults experience imposter feelings at least once in their lifetime. But Nancy and Questian’s informal polls suggest it’s nearly universal. The problem isn’t the feeling; it’s calling it a “syndrome.”

“A syndrome has to truly be interruptive in your life,” Nancy explains. “It needs to prevent you from accomplishing something you would otherwise accomplish.”

Instead, she argues these are “just parts of the human condition, in the same way that we will all at some point struggle with being depressed, we will all at some point struggle with loss.”

The hosts push for new language: imposter feelings, imposter phenomenon, imposter experience, or simply imposterism. Each strips away the medical connotations while acknowledging the reality.

Even Nancy, despite decades of public speaking experience, admits: “I am always convinced that people are going to think I’m a rookie at public speaking, which is completely ridiculous.” The fear persists not because she lacks competence, but because it’s how humans process growth.

When “Fake It Till You Make It” Goes Wrong

Before we go further, let’s be crystal clear about what imposter syndrome is NOT.

“It does not mean being unskilled and doing something anyway,” Questian emphasizes. “We are not telling anybody, ‘Oh, you don’t know what you’re doing, so go and do it.’ We don’t want to fake anything until we make it in accounting. We need to know what we’re doing.”

Questian describes the real definition as “a persistent, self-limiting belief that you’re not as competent as others perceive you to be.”

For her, it manifests as fear that someone will “find her out.” 

“It’s like, ‘Oh, we hired her to do this thing, but she really isn’t competent to do that.'” This despite the fact that people hire her precisely because they recognize her competence.

The Perfect Storm for High-Achieving Women

For women in accounting, these universal feelings collide with specific pressures. After successfully moderating a panel, participating in another, and recording a live podcast at Bridging the Gap, Questian came home and texted Nancy, “I don’t deserve to be in this space with these incredible people.”

This was after Nancy told her, “That was the best panel moderation I’ve seen in years.”

Both hosts confess to a toxic combination of overpreparing AND procrastinating. “I overprepare because I want it to be the best that it possibly can be, and I’m scared I won’t do a good job,” Questian explains. “And then I procrastinate because I build up this thing in my mind.”

The systemic roots run deep. When Questian shared her vision for expanding her work empowering women in accounting, a colleague responded: “Well, no one will really want to listen to you because you’re not a leader.”

“For a moment I thought, well, yeah, I’m not a C-suite individual,” Questian reflects. But she runs her own firm and co-hosts a top-ten accounting podcast. “Do you think he would have said anything like that to a man?” Nancy asks. The answer: absolutely not.

When Identity Multiplies the Pressure

The intersection with other identities intensifies everything. “A woman of color in a majority white firm may internalize the pressure and feel like she needs to be twice as good to prove herself,” Questian explains.

For those with neurodiversity, like Questian’s ADHD, there’s exhausting masking. “I’ve spent a lot of time masking and trying to hide or overcompensate for my ADHD traits,” she shares. “When I compare myself to how a neurotypical person is, then it can also intensify my feelings of imposter syndrome.”

Nancy shares a story about a friend who grew up poor and, despite now earning good money, felt she didn’t deserve to eat at a nice restaurant. “Success felt very new to her, and therefore it felt very fragile.”

Nancy’s own experience joining boards at 27 reveals another layer. “I knew I had to work ten times more than anybody else to prove I deserved to be on that board.” But here’s the thing: she was already invited. They already knew she’d do a good job.

“I’m still that 27-year-old,” Nancy admits at 53. “I’m still trying to prove myself in the way that person was.”

What Doesn’t Help (And What Does)

Let’s talk about what makes things worse: toxic positivity.

“Just hearing you say ‘You got this! You can do it!'” Nancy tells Questian, “I’m bristling literally just hearing that.”

Empty affirmations without substance can actually increase shame. What works is specificity. Instead of “You got this,” try “You’ve got this because you’ve been studying S corps and reasonable compensation for years” or “You’ve got this because you spent three hours preparing.”

Nancy shares a quote from a friend that sums it up perfectly. “Remember, your entire life has brought you to this moment.” It’s not empty encouragement; it acknowledges of a decade studying the topic.

The Four R’s That Actually Work

Nancy developed a framework that starts with three R’s:

  • Recognize. “We have to name it out loud. Call it what it is,” Nancy emphasizes. Say to yourself or others, “These are imposter feelings.” The simple act of naming it strips away its power.
  • Reframe. Transform “I’m a fraud” into “I’m growing and learning.” Nancy shares insights from a member of Ask a CPA who thought the world of bookkeeping knowledge was small and she knew most of it. After joining, that member realized the world of knowledge was infinitely larger. Her knowledge had grown, but relative to what she now knew existed, she felt smaller. “That doesn’t make you a fraud,” Nancy insists. “That gives you an opportunity to go to the next level.”
  • Relief. “When you recognize and you reframe, ideally that takes some pressure off of you needing to go learn all the things.” Because learning everything is impossible.

Questian adds a crucial fourth R:

  • Redefine competence. “We’re not looking for perfection; we’re looking for progress,” she emphasizes. “No one has the entire tax code memorized. Okay, maybe somebody does, but I doubt it.”

Track Your Wins (Even If You Don’t Journal)

Neither host journals traditionally, but they’ve found other ways to document accomplishments. Nancy maintains a presentations and podcasts page on her website. When asked how many webinars she teaches, Questian had to think: “Wow, actually quite a few.”

“Set your own metrics of success,” Questian advises. “Don’t worry about what other external metrics there are. Determine your why and what it means to you individually.”

The goal isn’t to never feel like an imposter; it’s to recognize those feelings as signals of growth and push forward anyway.

Join the Conversation

These feelings you’re experiencing? They’re not evidence that you don’t belong. They’re proof you’re exactly where you need to be: on the edge of your next level of growth.

Ready to hear the full conversation? Listen to “Imposter, Interrupted.” Then join the discussion on the She Counts Podcast LinkedIn page. Share a time when feeling like an imposter impacted your career and whether you found a way through it. Or help Nancy and Questian answer their question: What should we call it instead of “syndrome”?

Because if there’s one thing this episode makes clear, it’s that you’re not alone in these feelings. And maybe that’s the first step to interrupting them.

She Fired Every Client She Had and Made More Money Within 24 Hours

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Life has a way of interrupting our best-laid plans. As this episode of She Counts begins, co-host Nancy McClelland is racing to handle another family crisis. Her mother must be moved from her nursing facility with just two days’ notice after Medicaid refused coverage. It’s the kind of real-life emergency that women in accounting juggle daily while trying to run businesses and serve clients.

Stepping in to help is Candy Bellau, CFE, co-host of the Unbalanced Podcast and a fraud expert who knows firsthand what it’s like to manage a parent’s care from another state. “While I was in it, it was hard. It was so hard,” she shares. “I got a lot of insight afterward. What am I doing with my life? What am I doing with my family? Why am I running my business this way?”

The two had a raw conversation about how chronic underpricing affects women across accounting and how to break the cycle.

From Six Figures to Financial Ruin

Candy’s story sounds impossible until you realize how common it is. At 16, she was already supporting her entire family, negotiating a full-time salary for part-time bookkeeping work. “They hired a full-time person to do the job, and they couldn’t do it,” she recalls. When asked to fix the mess, she saw opportunity. “Why don’t you pay me what you were paying her? I will come in every day after school. You should send a car to pick me up.”

That teenage negotiator became a New York powerhouse. “I would get bonuses that were 100% of my salary,” she explains. “I was making so much money.” Her credit was so perfect that a BMW dealership handed her keys to a convertible without even a down payment, telling her to “go show off to your friends.”

Then she moved to New Orleans for love.

“I immediately brought it way down,” Candy admits. Despite years of experience in turnarounds and investigations, she started charging $25 an hour. “I thought, oh, these people can’t afford New York prices.” Soon she was charging $350 a month to run entire businesses—handling bookkeeping, HR, compliance, even picking up mail. “I did everything.”

The financial collapse was swift. “I did everything I would never let a client do. I depleted my retirement account.” Credit cards maxed out. Cash advances followed. While living in a 600-square-foot house with a baby, she maintained a 1,500-square-foot office she couldn’t afford. The breaking point came when she couldn’t pay the minimum on her credit cards while two mortgages loomed.

“I was lying about my reality,” she confesses, “trying to live the same lifestyle I had in New York without making the money.”

The $6,000 Wake-Up Call

Desperate for solutions, Candy enrolled in a $6,000 marketing course for accountants. What she found shocked her. “It was ‘tired of doing hair? Be an accountant. Don’t want to fix cars anymore? Be an accountant.’”

These complete beginners were using scripts to close $4,000-per-month deals while asking questions like “What’s QuickBooks?” and “What is a bank reconciliation?”

“Literal morons in this group,” Candy says, still incredulous. “And here I am charging $350 a month.”

Even more infuriating were her male colleagues. They’d invite her on sales calls, knowing she had the expertise they lacked. After she’d solve all the problems and outline the work, they’d ask what she would charge.

“I might say, I know what I’m doing. I would do this for like $5,000 a month,” Candy recalls. “And they’d say, ‘$5,000 a month? Are you insane? I wouldn’t do this for less than ten.'”

When she asked if they knew how to do the work, they answered, “I have no idea, but you’ll clearly do it for five and I’ll charge them ten.”

The Real Cost of Underpricing

The research confirms Candy’s perception. Women in professional services charge at least 25% less than men, sometimes up to 50% less. “The median woman in an online labor marketplace in the US sets a bill rate that’s 13.5% lower than a median man,” Nancy notes.

But statistics don’t capture the human cost. When Candy asked her team what would make them happy, the answers broke her heart.

“I would love it if I could take my kid to the doctor when they were sick,” one employee said. “I would love to be able to go to the doctor when I get sick. I don’t have health insurance.”

Another employee, after receiving a raise, shared something that changed Candy’s perspective. She said, “This is the first time in my life that I’m living with somebody out of choice and not need. For the first time in my life, I am making enough money to leave.”

“Everybody needs to make a wage that they can live off of without a man,” Candy resolved. “That became one of my driving forces.”

The irony wasn’t lost on her. “I can’t help anybody if I have to shut this place down and get a job. The person I wasn’t helping was me or my team. I was helping everybody else buying second houses, boats and stuff. And here I am thinking we’ll just have spaghetti again tonight for dinner.”

The Day Everything Changed

After the marketing course revelation, Candy did something drastic. “I fired every client I had.”

Her husband was stunned. When he asked about the office rent she couldn’t afford, she told him, “I no longer have low-priced clients.” His next question: “Do you have any leads?” Her answer: “Nope, but now I can take them.”

Within 24 hours, she got a call about a potential client. “I said, sounds to me like it’ll be $3,500 a month. She just paused and said, ‘That sounds fair. Where do I sign?’

She replaced all her fired clients with just two new ones, each paying what dozens had paid combined.

Breaking the Cycle

The conversation reveals five essential strategies for escaping the underpricing trap:

  1. Reframe from cost to value. “Because it’s easy for us, we price that way,” Candy explains. “Instead of charging for what we are bringing to the table: the education and the years of experience.”
  2. Practice raising rates incrementally. Start with specific client groups rather than everyone at once.
  3. Build community. “Don’t just go at it alone,” Candy urges. “Call somebody you respect.” During the episode, co-host Questian Telka realizes she’s underpricing a current cleanup. “I was underpricing it in my mind already,” she admits.
  4. Model confidence for others. Show other women what’s possible through your own pricing decisions.
  5. Recognize the long-term impact. When women underprice, they perpetuate industry-wide disparities and create businesses too fragile to provide security for their teams.

Candy now uses specific language that commands higher prices. When prospects aren’t ready, she tells them, “You’re not ready for a firm like me. Here’s where you need to be. When you hit this point, I’m the exact firm you want.”

For cleanup work, she tells clients, “If you need 12 months cleaned up and my monthly rate is $3,000, it’s the same monthly amount for the cleanup. If I discount it, you’re going to say, why did I sign on monthly?”

And always, “If you don’t pay me up front, I don’t lift a finger.”

No Margin, No Mission

Nancy shares a piece of wisdom she heard from a client: “No margin, no mission.” Without sustainable pricing, there’s no health insurance for teams, no living wages, no ability to weather crises like caring for aging parents.

Candy dropped her own family’s health insurance until everyone on her team could have it too. “Until we all have health insurance, nobody has health insurance,” she announced. The urgency drove her to find the revenue quickly.

“These things that are important to me,” she says now. “If clients don’t want to work with us the way we’ve got things set up, they’re not our client.”

Your Next Step

This episode strips away the polite veneer covering pricing discussions in accounting. The gender wage gap isn’t just about employment. We recreate it every time a woman undervalues her expertise.

As Oprah says, “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”

The conversation already changed Questian’s pricing. It just might change yours too.

Join the conversation by following the She Counts Podcast LinkedIn page and comment under “Marking Ourselves Down.” Do you struggle with pricing and asking for what you’re worth? The hosts want to hear from you about topics for future episodes and would love your reviews to help other women in accounting find this community.

Find Candy on LinkedIn and learn about her firms, Kramerican Business Solutions for controls work and Vandelay Forensic Group for fraud investigations. Yes, both are Seinfeld references, and yes, she just passed her private investigator exam.

Listen to the full episode to hear more of Candy’s story, including details about her financial recovery and the specific strategies she uses to maintain sustainable pricing today.

The Hidden Gender Gap in AI That’s Reshaping Accounting Without Women’s Input

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When Apple launched its revolutionary health app in 2014, it tracked everything from blood pressure to copper intake, but somehow forgot that half the population has menstrual cycles. This stunning oversight, which took an entire year to correct, perfectly captures what happens when companies design technology without women at the table.

In a revealing episode of the She Counts podcast, CPA and AI educator Twyla Verhelst joins hosts Questian Telka and Nancy McClelland to expose a difficult realization about the accounting profession’s AI revolution: women are being systematically left behind by design. Verhelst, who serves as Vice President of Industry Relations and Community at Karbon and co-founded TB Academy to empower accountants with AI training, brings personal experience and industry-wide perspective to this critical conversation.

While the accounting profession races to embrace AI technology that promises to transform how we work, women accountants face unique barriers to adoption that go beyond straightforward reluctance. From juggling disproportionate caregiving responsibilities to battling perfectionism in male-dominated spaces, these challenges create a system where the tools shaping our industry’s future are being built without our input.

This conversation uncovers why women fall behind in AI adoption, what happens when technology evolves without diverse perspectives, and most importantly, how women can claim their seat at the AI table, even if they have to bring their own folding chair.

The Perfect Storm: Why Women Fall Behind in AI Adoption

The gender gap in AI adoption isn’t about capability or interest. It’s about a perfect storm of societal expectations, time constraints, and deeply ingrained psychological patterns that create unique barriers for women in accounting.

Verhelst knows this struggle intimately. Despite her current role as a leading AI educator for accountants, she spent two full years feeling paralyzed by overwhelm. “I sat with AI saying like, “Oh my gosh, I’m so far behind. I haven’t even opened ChatGPT,” she admits. Even at AICPA Engage 2024, surrounded by industry innovation, she found herself thinking, “I still haven’t done anything. I still feel behind.”

This paralysis stems from something deeper than mere procrastination. Women, Verhelst explains, carry an ancestral caution that shapes how they approach risk. “If you go way back to our ancestors, men went out to hunt, while women stayed home or back at the tribe to care for the children and the elders. We were cautious by nature.” This evolutionary programming still whispers in our ears when faced with experimental technology, urging us to proceed with caution while our male counterparts dive in headfirst.

The perfectionism trap compounds this hesitation. Women in accounting already fight to prove themselves in traditionally male-dominated spaces, and using AI can feel like taking a shortcut that undermines our credibility. Verhelst observes, “Women feel like they’re cheating by using AI while men are looking for any way possible to ‘do the thing.’”

McClelland’s confession during the conversation highlights another crucial barrier: the gaming gap. “I didn’t grow up playing video games. I didn’t grow up taking apart electronics and putting them back together. Those were considered ‘boy’ hobbies,” she shares. When colleagues tell her to “just go play with it,” she responds with genuine confusion, “I honestly don’t even know what you mean when you say that. I don’t know how to play with technology.”

But perhaps the most insurmountable barrier is time poverty. While AI adoption requires experimentation and play, women simply don’t have the capacity. “I don’t have the capacity in my day to play. That just doesn’t happen,” Verhelst states bluntly. “I’m looking after children. I’m looking after senior parents and managing a household. I have a career. I have a part-time job on the side.”

The irony is that AI could actually help alleviate this time poverty, but women need time to learn how to use it effectively. It’s a Catch-22 that keeps women perpetually behind the curve, watching as male colleagues who started experimenting early become the go-to AI experts in their firms.

When Products Aren’t Built With Women in Mind

The consequences of women’s delayed AI adoption extend beyond individual careers. They’re shaping the very DNA of the technology that will define our profession’s future.

The Apple Health app story is an example of what happens when technology evolves without diverse input. In 2014, Apple’s revolutionary health tracking app monitored everything imaginable, yet somehow missed that 50% of the population experiences menstrual cycles, an aspect of women’s health that affects heart rate, body temperature, and breathing patterns throughout the month.

“No matter who you are as a woman, no matter what phase of life you are in, our whole rhythm revolves around the 28-ish day cycle,” Verhelst explains. Without this critical data point, the app sent false alarms about potential health issues while missing actual problems. Women worried unnecessarily about elevated heart rates that were actually normal for their cycle phase. It took Apple an entire year to correct this oversight.

This pattern repeats across industries. McClelland shares her own revelation about automotive safety: “I used to date an engineer who designed seat belts for cars. He explained to me that for many, many years, they only had male models.” The very devices meant to save lives in vehicle accidents were tested exclusively on male bodies, leaving women—particularly petite women—vulnerable to injuries that could have been prevented with proper testing.

The same types of oversights are happening right now with AI in accounting. “ChatGPT and other AI tools are built off of user input,” Verhelst warns. “If most of the users are men or the earliest adopters are men, then it’s being trained on and continues to evolve on how males use the platform versus how women will use the platform.”

Every prompt, every interaction, every piece of feedback shapes how these tools develop. When women don’t participate in that early development phase, the tools optimize for male communication patterns, work styles, and problem-solving approaches. The technology literally learns to speak a language that may not resonate with how women naturally interact with technology.

“AI is not a fleeting technology,” Verhelst emphasizes. Unlike temporary disruptions like Covid-19, AI is fundamentally shifting how accounting work gets done. The patterns being established now will shape the profession for decades.

Telka’s reaction during Twyla’s WAVE Conference presentation captured the urgency perfectly: “That really blew my mind. Because we tend to be later adopters, these tools we’re using are being built without our input.” She realized something as adaptable as ChatGPT, which changes based on user inputs, could evolve into something fundamentally misaligned with how women work.

Bringing Your Folding Chair: Practical Strategies for Women in AI

Despite the barriers, women have unique strengths that position them for AI success if they can reframe their approach and find the right support.

“Women need to pull up their seat at the table. And if that seat’s not there, you just bring your folding chair,” Verhelst declares, offering both a rallying cry and a practical philosophy for women ready to claim their place in the AI revolution.

The first step is recognizing an advantage many women don’t realize they possess. Ashley Francis, a recognized AI innovator in the accounting space, points out that women are actually better positioned to excel with AI than their male counterparts because women tend to have stronger language and communication skills.

Verhelst confirms this. “The number one roadblock to not getting what you need out of AI is poor communication.” Since women generally excel at thorough, nuanced communication, they’re naturally equipped to craft the detailed prompts that make AI tools work effectively.

Instead of diving headfirst into complex automations, Verhelst advocates for a pain-point-first approach. “Take some steps back to recognize what it is you want from AI today. Start with a pain point you experience. How can you leverage AI to solve for that pain point?”

Community learning is perhaps the most powerful accelerator for women’s AI adoption. Verhelst discovered a TikTok creator who opened a Slack channel specifically for female founders and entrepreneurs to share AI experiments (both successes and failures) in a supportive environment. “With women we can be a bit more vulnerable,” Verhelst explains. 

The practical applications Verhelst shares do away with the myth that AI requires extensive technical knowledge. Her “restaurant flex” perfectly illustrates playful exploration. She takes photos of menus and asks ChatGPT which wine is driest, which meal fits her dietary goals, and even requests recipes to recreate favorite dishes at home. “It’s embracing AI for things that aren’t just work,” she explains.

For professional applications, meeting transcription tools have become game-changers. Tools like Fathom, Otter.ai, Read.ai, and upcoming Karbon integrations with Vinyl and Abacor allow women to fully engage in conversations without worrying about note-taking. “Meeting transcripts have certainly changed my life,” Verhelst shares. Telka agrees emphatically, “I cannot take notes and focus.”

Women also use AI to handle emotional labor that often goes unrecognized. Verhelst describes how women upload screenshots of ambiguous emails, asking AI to decipher tone and suggest responses. “That saves a lot of headache and sleepless nights in some cases,” she notes.

Perhaps most importantly, Verhelst rejects the “do more with AI” messaging that dominates tech marketing. “I don’t want to do more. I already do a lot. I want time back to do what I want with it, not more tasks.” She shares how AI helps her handle overwhelming projects, like reformatting documents based on meeting transcripts. “That task would feel incredibly daunting and very tedious if it wasn’t for AI.”

There’s also liberation in accepting that expertise is impossible in this rapidly evolving field. “I don’t believe there are experts in AI,” Verhelst insists, even about recognized leaders like Chad Davis, Jason Staats, and Ashley Francis. “They can’t be. It’s moving too quickly.” If no one can be an expert, then everyone is learning together, and starting later doesn’t mean permanent disadvantage.

Some firms are already seeing creative applications. One TB Academy participant created a custom GPT that sits on their website, allowing clients to ask questions as a first stop before contacting the firm directly. These innovations come from experimentation, not expertise.

The Future We Choose to Build

The gender gap in AI adoption isn’t a personal failing. It’s a systemic challenge rooted in time constraints, societal expectations, and technology designed without our input. But there’s hope in Verhelst’s message.

No one is truly an expert in this rapidly evolving field, which means the playing field is more level than it appears. Women’s natural communication strengths align perfectly with what AI needs to function well. And participation doesn’t require perfection, but curiosity and small experiments.

Telka closed the episode with a quote from Sheryl Sandberg: “No industry or country can reach its full potential until women reach their full potential. This is especially true of science and technology, where women with a surplus of talent still face a deficit of opportunity.”

The path forward is about bringing our unique perspectives to tools that desperately need diverse input. Every prompt from a woman teaches these systems something new about how half the profession thinks, communicates, and solves problems.

“Even listening to this podcast tells me you’re not behind,” Verhelst reassures. “It tells me you’re curious, you’re engaged, and you want to learn.”

Listen to this transformative episode of She Counts to discover how you can overcome the barriers holding you back from AI adoption. Learn more about Verhelst’s work at TB Academy (tbacademy.ai) or connect with her on LinkedIn. And check out Tam Nguyen’s free AI prompts at Tech with Tam for an easy way to get started.

The future of our profession is being written right now, with or without us. Will we let it be designed without us, or will we grab our folding chairs and help build a future that works for everyone?

Saying No Is the Ultimate Power Move for Women in Accounting

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Years ago, Nancy McClelland sent a text to Questian Telka that would eventually birth the She Counts podcast. “What if our default wasn’t saying yes?” she asked. As two self-proclaimed yes-aholics who regularly got themselves “into a lot of trouble with how much we say yes,” Nancy wondered what life would look like if they flipped the script entirely, making “no” their default and forcing themselves to justify every yes.

That text conversation planted a seed that grew into episode 14 of She Counts, where Nancy and Questian sat down with Brandy Jordan, a self-proclaimed “Jane of all trades” who’s made a name for herself as Catalyst at Woodard and Concept Alchemist at High Rock Accounting. Brandy knows something about saying no that most of us desperately need to learn.

When “New Scenery With the Same Inbox” Becomes Your Vacation

“For years, vacations were just new scenery with the same inbox for me,” Brandy admits during the conversation. She’d work through every trip, checking emails poolside, taking calls from the beach. No one demanded she stay online. It was her own inner superhero insisting she needed to be available.

The kicker? She was coaching other professionals about boundaries while burning her own to the ground. “The irony was painful,” she says.

Sound familiar? If you’re nodding along, you’re in good company. Nancy hasn’t taken a vacation without her laptop since before the pandemic. Questian can’t remember the last time she took a full weekend off. When she recently took her kids to the pool on a rare day off, she remembers thinking, “Wow, this is a nice feeling. Like I’m not actually working.”

This is the reality for women in accounting, where the pressure to prove your worth through constant availability feels like oxygen: invisible but essential for survival. As Brandy explains from years of coaching high performers, “These are bright, capable people driving themselves into the ground because saying no felt like career limiting or a personal flaw.”

Your Yes Reflex Is Actually Killing Your Career

Here’s the brutal honesty Brandy drops early in the conversation: “Every time you say yes, you’re saying no to something else whether you mean to or not.”

For women in accounting, the pressure runs deeper than just workplace expectations. The industry rewards responsiveness and that service-oriented mindset. It sounds great until you realize you’ve become the default note-taker in every meeting, the organizer of office birthday cards, and the coordinator of team events, all while maintaining your full workload.

“These smaller yeses create patterns of taking on all the extra things that need to be done,” Questian observes. Meanwhile, colleagues who don’t say yes to all the extra stuff actually get their work done while you’re in what Brandy calls “that constant state of feeling like you have to catch up.”

Nancy confesses she literally remembers the last time she felt caught up: 19 years ago, sitting on her front porch at age 34, choosing between the beach and yoga. “I’ve spent the past 19 years trying to get back to that moment.”

Part of the problem is what behavioral economists call the planning fallacy. As Brandy explains, we tend to underestimate how long tasks actually take, even when experience proves us wrong repeatedly. Questian nails it: “I recognize that it takes me about twice as long as I think something’s going to take me, but I still don’t want to acknowledge it.”

We’re not just miscalculating time; we’re completely ignoring mental bandwidth. Some tasks drain us more than others, yet we schedule them back-to-back as if our brains are machines. As a result, we keep telling ourselves we’ll figure it out or catch up next week. But as Nancy points out, being an adult has become “saying I’ll catch up next week, every week for the rest of your life.”

The Revolutionary Difference Between Saying No and Starting With No

“Starting with no is not about being negative or difficult,” Brandy clarifies. “It is about installing a new operating system for your decisions.”

Drawing from Daniel Kahneman’s book, Thinking Fast and Slow, Brandy explains how our reflexive yes belongs to System 1, the quick, emotional, people-pleasing response. Starting with no forces System 2 thinking, where you actually ask whether you can afford the cognitive load, the hours, and the context switching this demands.

Think about budgeting money, Brandy suggests. “If you constantly spend first and figure it out later, you always feel behind and stretched. But if you start each month at zero and consciously decide exactly how to allocate your funds, you’re going to feel empowered and in control.”

The same applies to your time and energy. But you need concrete criteria. Brandy’s approach is to write out five personal values that align with everything you do. Then identify your top three or four career goals. Every request gets filtered through the question, “Can I do this without compromising my other priorities?”

“I’m writing that down,” Nancy said. It’s the question that changes everything because suddenly you’re not asking “Can I squeeze this in?” but “What am I willing to sacrifice?”

How to Actually Say No (Without Feeling Like a Jerk)

“Don’t start saying no to the biggest thing that comes your way,” Brandy advises. “Start small because you have to get comfortable with saying no.”

Her practical framework:

  • Use clear yet empathetic language: “Thank you for considering me, but I cannot take this on right now”
  • Offer alternatives when possible, such as suggesting a colleague who might benefit or be better aligned
  • Give yourself time by saying, “Let me review my workload and get back to you tomorrow”

That pause is crucial. “It gives you space to thoughtfully assess the request without the stress of an immediate reaction,” Brandy explains. “Your fear will diminish because now you’ve thought it through logically.”

Questian admits the pause is her biggest challenge. She recalls immediately wanting to volunteer for a speaking opportunity, even reaching out to Nancy when a colleague declined it. Nancy’s response? “No, I’m going to protect you from yourself here.”

The shift changes how you think about no entirely. “Stop thinking that saying no is inherently selfish or inflexible,” Brandy insists. “By thoughtfully evaluating your commitments, you respect your own capacity and your team’s capacity and ability to rely on you fully when you do commit.”

The Day Brandy Told Herself No

The hardest no Brandy ever said wasn’t to a boss or client; it was to herself. After years of preaching boundaries while working through every vacation, she finally drew the line. The laptop stayed home. Not in the hotel room, not in the bag. “I knew if it was in my bag, I wouldn’t leave it be.”

Notifications went off and she warned her team, “I will be unreachable. Carry on. Don’t break anything.”

The hardest part was silencing that voice insisting something might implode. “It never does,” Brandy reflects. “There’s nothing life-threatening in our line of work that would need anything right away.”

The payoff was immediate: real rest, a fresh perspective, and the end of that hypocritical guilt. Now everyone at work knows, when Brandy’s on vacation, she’s unreachable. Period.

Nancy’s taking her first laptop-free vacation since pre-pandemic after hearing this. She’s even built in buffer days before and after. Her new philosophy? “If this all burns down while I’m gone, then that wasn’t the business I wanted to be running anyway.”

Why Your Team Secretly Wants You to Say No

“Modeling is essential,” Brandy emphasizes. When leaders protect their bandwidth, they demonstrate that focus is a competitive advantage, that thoughtful prioritization—not endless accommodation—delivers excellence.

Nancy discovered this when she vulnerably told her executive assistant, “I need you to help me. I’m not good at this.” She even offered a raise if her assistant could help her survive through July. “That took a lot of vulnerability and it was a little embarrassing,” Nancy admits. “But they’ve really been stepping up for me.”

Something magical happens when you actually disconnect. “It’s amazing what they can figure out when you’re not around,” Brandy observes. Those urgent emails? Already solved. Your team becomes highly self-sufficient when given the space.

The transformation extends beyond individual teams. As Questian discovered, “When I take a vacation and really put everything away, I am so much more efficient. My efficiency level increases substantially.”

Brandy puts it bluntly: “Self-abandonment is unsustainable leadership.”

Your Challenge: One No, Two Weeks

The path forward isn’t complex, but it requires courage. As Brandy says, you need to practice because “anything new is work” at first, but it becomes a habit when you consistently ask, “Does this align with what I want to do?”

Nancy and Questian are committing to trying this approach. Will you? Choose one request in the next two weeks and apply Brandy’s framework. Pause. Evaluate against your priorities. Ask, “Can I do this without compromising my other commitments?”

If the answer is no, practice saying, “Thank you for considering me, but I cannot take this on right now.”

Then head to the She Counts LinkedIn page and share your experience. Because you’re not alone in this struggle, and you shouldn’t have to figure it out by yourself.

As poet Nayyirah Waheed writes, “I don’t say yes because I’m strong. I say no because I am.”

The accounting profession needs leaders who model sustainable excellence, not martyrdom. That transformation starts with two letters: N-O.

Ready to dive deeper? Listen to the full episode above where Nancy, Questian, and Brandy explore every nuance of moving from exhausted accommodation to strategic leadership.

When Professional Jealousy Strengthens Friendships: She Counts Season 2 Kicks Off with Raw Honesty

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“How did she get invited to this? And I didn’t get invited. I’ve been in the industry for over 20 years. Why is she more popular than I am?”

Nancy McClelland’s text to her podcast co-host Questian Telka wasn’t meant to be public. But standing before a live audience at Bridging the Gap conference in Denver, Nancy chose to share this raw moment of professional jealousy. In doing so, she showed exactly why She Counts has struck such a nerve with women in accounting.

This special Season 2 kickoff episode marks a full-circle moment. Nancy and Questian met at Bridging the Gap exactly one year ago, and that meeting sparked their friendship and Nancy’s role as a founding member of Ask a CPA. Now they’re back, recording live with guest moderator Erin Pohan of Upkeeping, LLC, who runs the Women in Accounting Visionaries and Entrepreneurs (WAVE) Conference.

The Hidden Work Behind “Real Talk”

Before sharing this vulnerability, the hosts pulled back the curtain on what it takes to create She Counts. “Mad props to anybody out there who does a podcast. It is so much work,” Nancy admitted, even though Earmark handles production. “I was delusional because Earmark is an amazing podcast production company. And I was like, ‘oh, they’re going to do all the hard work.’”

The reality hit hard. Each episode requires hours of planning, rehearsing, and outlining. It’s “like writing a session to present at Bridging the Gap,” Nancy explained. Then there’s finding sponsors (which Nancy calls “so much work”), plus the constant pressure of social media and marketing. “We feel behind all the time. Literally all the time,” she said, seeing nods from other podcasters in the audience.

So why continue? Questian has an idea: “We’re doing it for all of you and all of ourselves, of course, because this is something that we wanted and we didn’t have.”

The payoff came in unexpected ways. While Questian treasures the hour they spend recording together, Nancy was floored by listener responses. “I did not expect so many people to be coming up and saying, when you said this one thing… it made me feel less alone.”

When Your Best Friend’s Success Triggers Your Insecurities

The conversation turned deeply personal when Erin asked about putting themselves out there publicly. Nancy’s response made the room go quiet.

“I remember the first time you went to Scottsdale,” Nancy said to Questian, her voice shaking. “And I texted you, and I was like, how did you get invited to this and I didn’t get invited.” The hurt went deeper than professional disappointment. “How does she know all the cool kids? I don’t know the cool kids. The cool kids think I’m a nerd.”

These feelings connect to old wounds. Nancy mentioned being “beat up in the locker room” and feeling like everyone was against her in high school. But instead of letting jealousy fester, she took it to therapy.

Her therapist’s response changed everything: “Nancy, do you want what she has?” When Nancy said yes, the therapist explained, “So that’s what envy is. Emotions aren’t inherently positive or negative. It is just a fact to say, I wanted to be invited to Scottsdale. How is that a bad thing?”

The breakthrough came when Nancy texted Questian directly. “I said, hey, what’s this Scottsdale thing? How come I didn’t get invited? Did you not invite me?” Questian’s response dissolved the tension. It was her first invitation, she’d been nervous, and she hadn’t even known what she was being invited to.

“Saying out loud to her, I have envy. It changed everything,” Nancy reflected. “Jealousy doesn’t have to turn into resentment.”

Questian admitted her own jealousy, particularly watching Nancy effortlessly secure sponsorships. “I’m like, how did you do that? Of course I’m jealous.” But she channels it differently: “I just watch her and I’m like, I want to be able to do that.”

Everyone Has “Imposter Syndrome,” Which Means No One’s an Imposter

When Questian mentioned she “suffers” from imposter syndrome, Nancy pounced: “Is it a disease? Are you the only person who has this horrible disease?”

She asked the live audience who experiences imposter syndrome. Nearly every hand went up—the same result Questian got at her Scaling New Heights panel. Nancy’s point was sharp: “If literally everyone in this room raised their hand, then is this a syndrome that we have? Or are these just imposter feelings? The way we feel jealous sometimes, the way we feel happy sometimes?”

Her conclusion: “Nobody needs to be medicated for something that literally everyone in the entire universe has. The weirdos who don’t feel imposter syndrome are the ones who should be medicated for not having any self-awareness whatsoever.”

Both hosts revealed ongoing insecurities that seem absurd given their achievements. Nancy, at 53, regularly speaking on major stages and running successful ventures, confessed: “I am constantly terrified that people will think I’m a rookie. I’m still convinced that I am 17 years old, and this is the first time I’ve ever done anything.”

Questian’s insecurity centers on credentials. “I’m not a CPA. I don’t have my CPA license,” she admitted. People question her expertise: “Oh, so you’re not an accountant? And I’m like, no, I’m an accountant. Like, I know my shit, but I haven’t gotten my license yet.”

The morning of the recording, she received a text about North Carolina potentially removing the master’s degree requirement for CPA licensure. Her colleague’s message: “Go get it, girl.”

Creating Ripple Effects Through Vulnerability

The power of shared struggles became clear through specific stories. Nancy described a friend who recently suffered her second stroke. “She said, driving back and forth to her doctor’s appointments, she listens to She Counts and she feels less alone.”

Erin’s story shows how one genuine interaction can spark movements. Last year at Bridging the Gap, she knew no one. But Nancy “turned her entire body toward me, looked me in the eye with genuine curiosity and said, ‘I want to know you too.’” That interaction inspired Erin to create the WAVE Conference, with the next one scheduled for May 15, 2026.

Body image struggles surfaced when asked directly. Questian, despite being thin, faced childhood bullying about being “anorexic” and having “giant bug eyes.” More disturbing: “I can think of three times where a man in a superior position to me has made comments about my body at work.”

Nancy shared how she helped her friend Brittany Brown overcome fear about keynoting at a major conference because of her weight. “The people who are in that room are not there to judge you,” Nancy told her. “They’re going because they see who’s speaking before they go. They see the name. They see the picture. If they don’t want to be there, they just won’t be there.”

The gratitude comes full circle. After Aileen Gilpin posted about how She Counts made her feel less alone, Nancy found herself drawing strength from that message during her mother’s nursing home transition. “She’s thanking us for doing what we’re doing. But the note she wrote totally changed my week.”

The Permission to Be Human

Nancy shared her biggest fear about the podcast: “I’m terrified that people will listen to this and they’ll be like, who does Nancy think she is? Just grabbing that mic again?” She knows some see her as “too much,” “intimidating,” or “attention seeking.”

“I’ve been in therapy for it because it is hard,” she admitted. But she’s clear about why she continues to show up and speak up. “I needed this when I was younger. I need it today. I need to feel like I’m not alone, and I don’t want anybody else to feel alone.”

Her mantra, from Marianne Williamson, guides her: “When we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

For anyone in the early stages of starting their own practice, Nancy offers this truth: “Nobody got a rule book. It’s not just you who are making it up as you go along. We are literally all making up what running a practice looks like, we are making up what being an adult looks like.”

Questian’s advice is simpler but equally powerful: “Trust your gut. Always.”

The episode closes with Randy’s updated wisdom from his father: “You can do anything that you set your positive mind to.” But as this conversation proves, a positive mind isn’t one without doubts, jealousy, or fear. It’s one that shares these feelings openly and transforms them into connection.


Listen to the full episode of the She Counts podcast, follow She Counts Podcast’s LinkedIn page, and share underneath this episode what you feel women in accounting most need to hear. But through this raw, unscripted hour, the hosts already provided the answer: Women need to hear that their struggles are normal, their feelings are valid, and they’re not alone.