“We see in others what we fail to see in ourselves.”
This simple but powerful insight came from a coffee conversation between two accounting colleagues. One was sharing her frustrations about advancing in a male-dominated leadership environment. The other pointed out strengths that were completely invisible to their owner: clear communication, authentic presence, and natural insight.
This conversation sparked a recent episode of the She Counts podcast, where hosts Questian Telka and Nancy McClelland dive into why mentorship is critical for women in accounting.
The Hidden Crisis in Accounting Leadership
The numbers tell a troubling story. Men and women enter the accounting profession at roughly equal rates: about 50/50. But women hold only 19% of partner positions in CPA firms nationwide.
As Nancy points out, some major accounting firms are completely scrapping their diversity, equity, and inclusion programs (while others are doubling down on them). “Think about what the future of leadership in those companies is going to look like,” she says.
The reality is that this leadership gap isn’t about qualifications. When Questian worked at a Big Four firm early in her career, seeing a female chairperson of the board felt “unbelievable,” not because the woman wasn’t qualified, but because such representation was so rare.
Even more troubling are the explicit barriers that still exist. One colleague shared how she was promised a partner position when she joined a firm. After years of working toward that goal, the position went to a male colleague instead. When she had her first child, firm leadership told her she “wouldn’t want to be in a leadership role now anyway, because she was a mom.”
This kind of thinking—illegal as it is—shows the deeper assumptions that still limit women’s advancement.
Civil rights leader Marian Wright Edelman said it best: “You can’t be what you can’t see.” When leadership representation is so skewed, it creates a visibility problem. Women entering the profession may limit their own ambitions simply because they haven’t seen enough examples of women successfully reaching senior leadership roles.
The Science Behind Seeing Potential
The power of mentorship isn’t mysterious; it’s grounded in neuroscience that explains why outside perspective can literally change how we see ourselves.
As women, we’re often taught to fixate on our shortcomings rather than our strengths. “It is so common for us to focus on looking at our negatives,” Questian explains, “that we are often not paying enough attention to what our good traits are, and all of the positives that we bring to the table.”
Nancy admits she struggles with this, too. “If I’m naturally good at something, I don’t really take credit for it. I don’t think there’s anything impressive about this. It just is.”
This is where the science gets fascinating. Mirror neurons make it possible for us to learn something without doing it ourselves. When we watch someone teaching on stage or demonstrating a skill, “the audience can actually learn that thing as if they were doing it themselves,” Nancy explains.
In mentorship relationships, this means we can observe behaviors in our mentors and begin to see those possibilities for ourselves. When Nancy saw women like Claudia Hill speaking at accounting conferences, her immediate reaction was “me too. That’s a thing I’d like to do.”
When we receive positive feedback from someone we trust, our brains release dopamine. This reinforces the behavior that created the praise in the first place. “Getting a positive affirmation from it makes you much more inclined to continue to repeat it,” Questian says.
This creates a positive cycle where confidence builds on itself, leading to more confident behaviors that generate more positive responses.
This science helps explain Questian’s remarkable transformation. She went from someone who “could hardly get on a zoom call” to confidently delivering webinars and speaking at conferences. When Nancy pushed her to take a Theater of Public Speaking class, she wasn’t just suggesting skill-building; she was recommending a way to rewire her brain around public speaking anxiety.
Even today, Nancy provides the outside perspective that catches limiting thoughts before they take hold. When Questian says something like, “I’m going to submit this topic to Intuit Connect, but I’m sure they won’t take it,” Nancy immediately calls it out: “Is that your lizard-brain trying to protect you from rejection?”
Finding Your Mentors
Understanding the science is one thing. Actually building these relationships is another. The good news is that mentorship opportunities exist everywhere… if you know where to look.
But first, you need to get clear about what you actually need. As mentor Gaynor Meilke told Nancy, “How are you going to get to where you want to be if you don’t know what that is?”
Sometimes you need technical guidance. Sometimes confidence building. Sometimes a roadmap for advancement. Sometimes just someone who understands your challenges.
Questian never had a formal mentorship program. Instead, she’s found value in informal relationships with people who share similar values and communication styles.
Conferences are gold mines for mentorship connections. Both hosts trace pivotal moments to conference encounters. LinkedIn, Facebook groups, mastermind communities, and even your current workplace all offer potential mentor relationships.
The step that stops many people is actually asking for help. “You have to ask them,” Questian emphasizes. “What’s the worst they can say? No.”
Questian learned this when she persistently pursued Nancy as a mentor, even after initial hesitation. Sometimes the answer is no. But often, people who seem unreachable are willing to help if you show genuine interest.
Mentorship doesn’t depend on traditional hierarchies either. Nancy’s relationship with Melissa Miller Furgeson shows peer mentorship in action. “I feel so comfortable being able to go to her and say, I have no clue what I’m doing, and she’ll be like, here’s a Loom.”
Questian notes that mentors can even be younger than you. She considers Krista Marina Apardian from Theater of Public Speaking a mentor despite Apardian being younger, recognizing her as “an incredible speaker” with valuable expertise.
Different life phases need different types of mentorship. When Nancy needed encouragement to pursue tax preparation, Theresa Briggs saw potential Nancy couldn’t recognize. She gave Nancy a CCH Master Tax Guide with an inspirational inscription Nancy still treasures.
When Nancy needed business operation skills, Clare Karchmar taught her to “come to me with solutions, not problems.” This lesson fundamentally changed how Nancy approached professional challenges. Karchmar even gave Nancy a name badge that said “Hello, I’m: Shocked” to help break the habit of expressing surprise instead of focusing on solutions.
Recognizing Bad Mentorship
Not all mentorship relationships are helpful. Recognizing warning signs protects you from relationships that could harm your career.
Nancy shares a cautionary tale about approaching a leader for help with overwhelming work challenges. The leader’s solution was to make herbal tea and suggested yoga. “That would not have happened to a man.”
Warning signs include mentors who seem more interested in making themselves look good than developing you; those who take credit for your work; or anyone whose treatment feels patronizing.
Nancy advises, “If something happens that would never happen to a man… this is not your person.”
Being a Mentor Yourself
The mentorship relationship works both ways. Even as Nancy mentors Questian, she continues seeking mentorship for her own challenges.
“I am going to be turning 53 years old in a couple of days, and I am still in need of mentorship,” Nancy says. “We need to both have and be mentors at every stage of our lives.”
This eliminates the pressure to wait until you’re “qualified enough” to help others. Your current struggles and experiences are valuable to someone a few steps behind you in that area of life.
Some women hesitate to mentor because of imposter syndrome. “What do I have to offer?” is a common thought. But as Nancy points out, “Sometimes it’s your mistakes and your failures and your experiences that make you a more valuable mentor.”
When women support each other through mentorship, they create visibility that makes ambition feel achievable for the next generation. This gradually shifts from initially seeing a female leader as “unbelievable” to it eventually feeling normal.
Moving Forward
The accounting profession’s leadership gender gap at least partially stems from the absence of mentors who can see and nurture potential before women recognize it themselves.
As Marianne Williamson reminds us, “When you let your light shine, you unconsciously give others permission to do the same.”
Building mentorship relationships is about creating the visibility and support systems that will help other women recognize and develop their potential, too.
Listen to the full episode and join the conversation on the She Counts Podcast LinkedIn page. The hosts want to know how firms and businesses can build good mentorship cultures and what mentorship experiences have worked for you. Share your thoughts and experiences to help build a stronger community of women supporting women in accounting.
Whether you’re seeking mentorship or stepping up to mentor someone else, remember that these relationships have the power to transform the profession. The accounting industry’s future depends on women supporting women, and that future starts with the mentorship relationships we build today.